Tennis is Why We Have the Mute Button

The Australian Open is now in the books. Congratulations to Novak Djokovic and Victoria AzaSHRIEKA Azarenka for their hard earned victories. Now that the tournament is over, I can reflect on the value of my TV remote's mute button. Eugene Polley and Robert Adler are widely credited with the first remote control to have a mute button in 1956. They must have been tennis fans and knew what was coming for the rest of us! I love watching tennis, but my ears want to remove themselves from my head and run away during most matches. The decibel level and rapid fire nature of the game's worst offenders is just too much for my delicate sensibilities. Sharapova and Azarenka are the worst in my book on the women's side. The men's tour is not off the hook either. When I watched the semis, I found myself thinking "What the hell is that noise" every time Ferrer struck a ball. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I am only one button push away from pure, silent, bliss. I become free to watch the drama of the point unfold without wondering which linesperson is running a dingo through a blender off court.

The mute button is doubly effective as it eliminates the drone of commentators as well. Andy Roddick made a nice point the other day as he observed that a commentator encouraged a player to "be more aggressive" then barely a few points later, chastised the player for not being "more patient." The mute button lets me add my own commentary, which is always insightful and spot on :).

On an interesting side note, one of the men credited with the remote control, Robert Adler, passed away right here in Boise, ID in 2007.

On ANOTHER interesting note, I did some research today and found a technology that will solve the WTA's current "grunting" issue. Right here right now, I am calling for Hawk Eye on every court and the new "SHUT IT BOX" on every court. Here are the details on what could change the future of tennis:

SHUT UP GUN INVENTED IN JAPAN!! 

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed." - Martina Navratilova

Art of the One Handed Backhand Compliment

Ahh Roger Federer. You sir never cease to amaze me. Your prowess on the tennis court is second to none. The skills you possess have given rise to nicknames such as "Swiss Maestro." However you are the master of one stroke that has been sorely overlooked. I am referring to your mastery of the one handed backhand compliment (OHBC). Your ability to sound like you are praising somebody else or being self-depreciating while actually reminding all of us of your greatness is simply second to none. In case you are new to the art of the OHBC, allow me to translate some examples:

1. January 2013- Speaking about a possible 3rd round match with Bernard Tomic: "He will be making a mistake thinking about me in the third round because he also has to get there."

OHBC TRANSLATION: "It is a forgone conclusion that I will reach the 3rd round. It is simply impossible for me to lose prior to a quarterfinal. Losing early is for mortals like Tomic."

2. August 2012- On losing the Olympic gold medal match to Andy Murray: "Andy was better. And Andy also played the match of his life."

OHBC TRANSLATION: "I would have won if Andy had not played the single greatest match of his entire career. He would not have had a chance had I played the match of MY life."

3. August 2012- Again on Andy Murray's Olympic rebound after losing Wimbledon: "It was really nice to see his reaction after a crushing Wimbledon loss to come back and win the Olympic gold."

OHBC TRANSLATION: "I was happy to see that I had not entirely crushed his soul when I won Wimbledon. I am glad that people are able to continue playing after such crushing defeats at my hands."

4. Rotterdam- On his doubles participation: "I don't play doubles often, but when I do, I tend to win a lot."

OHBC TRANSLATION: "Normally I let those silly doubles players win their events. Sometimes though, Zeus must descend form Olympus to put the commoners in their place."

5. Undated- On whether or not Andy Roddick can be considered his rival: "For me I'm in the driver's seat; I'm no. 1 in the world. I've won the last couple of meetings and I've won the big tournaments lately. Whoever comes, I'll try to beat him. But it's almost up to me to decide who's my rival, isn't it?"

OHBC TRANSLATION: "Seriously? The application process to be my rival is lengthy and has to filled out in triplicate in each of the 4 languages I speak. To date, nobody has been approved by me as my rival. The only Rival I currently have is a crock pot that Mirka and I use for fondue."

Federer is undoubtedly an all time champion. I just hope we can all grow to appreciate his backhand both on the court and off.

"This is already my 10th grand slam in such a short period of time. I amazed myself."

                 -Roger Federer

The Power of Pink

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is indeed a pink tennis shoe. If you haven't seen or heard already, this is the colorway for Roger Federer's 2013 Australian Open campaign. Here is how this shakes out for me:

1. Pink is not for girls. I was ahead of the curve on pink. I wore a brown tux with pink vest and tie in my wedding. That was in 2007! You are 6 years late Nike!

2. Federer can wear whatever he wants. He could come out in a polka dot shirt, zebra stripe shorts and glitter Nike Vapors and he would still own the mental edge over virtually every opponent. He has earned respect on court no matter what he has on.

3. Tennis is becoming an increasing fashion platform. Federer is already seen as somewhat of a style icon for the men's game and this is just an extension of using him as on court fashion model. Tennis gear has increasingly become about making a statement in the last couple years. Prime examples are the custom designed Adidas Barricades and Nike Vapors now available as well as the rainbow (aka "unicorn vomit") Asics shoes this year. I doubt Federer would be caught dead in any of those, so to me the pink seems like a way to put him on the "edge" while still having him be the "elegant" player many describe him as.

4. This feels like a missed opportunity to me. How is this not tied to a breast cancer campaign? Obviously I'm being idealistic about Nike's responsibility as a corporate entity, but if there is a better product in their stable right now to use as a tie in, I don't know what it is. Also, let's be honest. Their other cancer related effort is in a little bit different light right now (Thanks doper Lance Armstrong!). Using this pink theme wouldn't have had the same reach as Livestrong but it would have been a nice addition to their platform.

All in all, it's good to see some new colors on court. I always like this season better than the Wimbledon whites. And after all, it's not like Nike is forcing him to wear this:



"I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down."
                                   -Robert Frost